Saturday we're headed to Mishawaka for a large birthday party for my mother in law and since the woman cooks her butt off every single time anyone comes over, I insisted she NOT make her own birthday cake.

Also, she loves the term "happy feet".

WAY before the little penguin movie came out. She gets excited by the littlest things (it's cute, really) and dances around and says "I've got happy feet!". So that penguin movie was MADE for her. So she often puts little penguin stickers on cards...and I just associate her with penguins now.


That sounded weird.

So anyway, I browsed cakes today and came across this gem from the queen of making things difficult: Martha Stewart.




As if it doesn't look hard enough to make - IT'S FILLED WITH ICE CREAM

Yeah no, I'm not making an ice cream cake. I am, however making an igloo cake complete with marzipan penguins. And no I've never worked with marzipan in my life. In fact, it was really difficult to find.

So, tomorrow after work I will attempt to make as many little penguins as I can with the 11 ounce can I got. Hopefully they will look something like these:







However, they will for sure not look anything like these, because they are amazing and I don't even understand how she/he made them.



So I could very well be posting a cake wreck of my own here sometime soon. Stay tuned.

Taking expired sinus headache medicine all day won't make your headache better - just so you know.

I video chatted with Dave today. He's in Rio having a fabulous weekend in a great location. Jealous = me.




We both seem to be suffering from colds/allergies or something at the same time, even though we're on separate continents.




Tomorrow I'm shooting my cousin's informal wedding reception which should be really easy and boring. The real fun will be photographing my other cousin's baby after wards. New territory - I'm very excited. Also, both of my pregnant cousins have asked me to do pregnancy photos of them which will be really cool to add to my portfolio.

Apologies in advance for the hyperlinks but I'm not going to post this woman's photographs on my blog .


I was just staring at the cover of Time - Jill Greenberg's  photograph of Glen Beck  and I have such mixed emotions about that woman's work...it kills me. For one, ok she's got this style that is distinct. Even if you only casually observe photography, you probably know her series of crying kids  1) because it was "controversial".and 2) because the photographs have a very unique ...uhh...shine, let's call it. You can see a piece of her work (ok I can) and identify her as the artist a mile away. Man, that's what it's all about. Having a style so unique you own it 100%.

It's off putting to me to see human skin so un-natural  and it almost grosses me out . But at the very moment I'm disgusted by it, I love it because she's making me feel something for her work. Even if it's negative, so what? She's making me feel something that makes me want to keep looking and that's the point of art.

As far as the controversial aspect of some of her other work, I'm not sure of her intent so I can't decide if I'm proud of her or just think she's a moron. If she does shit like this  with the full intent of just being an rebel and making her "statement" then I'm bored by it and I'd say she missed the mark. All that editing is so hacky and...I'll say it - BAD. People on fark do a better job using photoshop. I think slapping all that shit together cheapens her already powerful work and it's totally unnecessary. I know she just posted it on her blog but WHY would she DO THAT to her work? In any setting?

If she wants to gain recognition with shock value, the crying kids pictures were the way to do it. It's clever and subtle shock value - which sounds totally impossible but she did it. So what if we all think it was mean? It was an idea, she set it up and pulled it off. The negative issue of taking candy from a baby is so benign it gets lost in the weight that photo technique carries. She won.

But then with this Glen Beck thing. She had to do this.
I get it. Glen Beck's a cry baby. And you're known for your cry baby work. And YAWN oh I'm sorry I dozed off. Don't get me wrong, Glen Beck IS a cry baby. But did she have to drive it into our skulls with a rail road spike? It's not clever. She could have drawn the parallel any number of different ways that weren't just a blatant adult sized re-do.

I'm so glad someone at Time had a brain and didn't put it on the cover.

Oh yeah and speaking of Indy, we were just there this weekend for Oktoberfest. Dave's brother-in-law and several of his friends brew beer. 
( Pictures this way )

OK so here goes Colleen spilling her guts. Dave and I have both wanted to leave Chicago for a while now. There are many reasons: taxes, high cost of living, parking (or lack thereof), the awful fucking weather and the overall high price of housing. We're just done. Change of scenery please!

But as much as I know it's not a decision we have to make yet, I know it'll be something we'll start deciding by Feb 2010. The impending decision weighs heavy on my mind. REALLY heavy. We're considering Austin, Nashville and yeah ok Indy. It's on the list.

Austin and Nashville have warmer weather. One clearly more warm than the other. They all have reasonable housing costs, low crime, are large/interesting enough cities to keep us happy AND have ample parking. Only Indy doesn't have the warm weather. It's not AS bad as Chicago but it still gets cold. So why am I still allowing Indy to be in the mix? Because I have this fear of living so far from family once I have kids.

That surprises even me. I have always been pretty self sufficient and I'm pretty sure I'd be ok with just the 2 of us raising our kids but I can recognize it would be more difficult with NO family nearby. It would be nice to be a short drive (3 hours) from my family. Plus, in Indy, we'd be minutes from his sister, several of his friends and other people we know very well through his sister. In those other 2 cities? We know one couple in each city, essentially. That's it.

So it's a big fat deal and it bothers me. We're visiting Austin in October, Nashville in November and we go to Indy all the damn time. So it's not that we aren't doing our research. Maybe after November I'll feel better once I've seen all 3 as well as I can. Who knows.

The weather is the HUGE deciding factor. I have this DAMN reynaud's thing that makes the cold unbearable - i.e. my fingers and toes go completely numb and useless. Plus the older I get the worse my asthma gets and the cold makes me wheeze like a fat guy on a treadmill.

I know in this city I'm outside a lot for commuting and that wouldn't be the case in a city like Indy or Nashville. I will not be living in a city with this kind of public transit ever again and that's ok - I'll be car dependent. But still, I hate the cold. HATE!!!!!

However, is it really smart or fair to choose a city based solely on weather? Isn't that pretty selfish of me/us? I'd deny my kids the opportunity to have a close relationship with our families because I want to be warm? Isn't that selfish? I knew my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...etc really well growing up and I wouldn't change that for the world. I know plenty of people grow up with family across the country or world and turn out fine but just knowing what it gave me, I really would feel terrible depriving my kids of what I had in that regard.

PS - I think I'm an adult now.

I stink at posting lately, don't I?

OK I'll try to be better. Promise.

(  Since the last time I posted, let's see... )

If anyone I know gets to this point, consider this an official warning from me: I will shake the shit out of you.

Not sure if ever posted about this but the place we got married had this HUGE effing painting up at the front. And there is something not very nice going on in it. Before I say anything ( take a gander )( Take a gander )

So this funny.




Note: Rand Paul is Ron Paul's son. No relation to the guy who made guitars and died recently.

One thing I keep forgetting to talk about in my fish-out-of-water tales is how nice Desire is. I have seen glimmers of his country's very old world traditional roles for women and men and part of what that means is chivalry is not dead there. If I have a bag or a suitcase with me, he insists on carrying it for me. He opens doors, say "you first"...etc.

I think more then just Desire being a nice person, the entire country has a culture of being kind. I have noticed this in every man I've met from Brukina. (Well, ok I have not met any Burkinabe women so...) But the men are all very giving, welcoming. I forget the exact conversation but Dave said something about getting a shirt and Desire literally motioned that he'd give him the shirt off his back. No cliche there - like actually was going to take off his shirt and give him it. Dave laughed, it's not at all what he meant so of course he didn't take it. But that's just how he is - always willing to give.

Totally different topic, my class this semester has such a heavy workload, it is overwhelming. Just ONE of the projects is something that would normally have taken me an entire semester to do in the past but now I have to do it in addition to about 22 other projects. Also there's a HUGE kiss ass in that class that basically has her head up the teacher's butt for 3 hours twice a week. It's so pathetic and transparent. I wear headphones most of the time in class to avoid having to listen to her.

Dear Indiana,

Please hurry the F up and mail my marriage certificate to me so I can go to Miami for Labor Day.

Signed,
the idiot who booked a flight under her married name a little too soon.

In other news, we booked a flight to Nashville yesterday (for $69 each way thank you southwest airlines). We're going there in November to check out the area  and neighborhoods for our eventual escape from Chicago. It's weird to think about moving away from here. I don't even know where to begin as far as going about learning about a new city in one weekend. We've gotta make an effort to get around to lots of places, for sure. So it's Austin in October and Nashville in November and then we have to make a decision. Sorry, all other US cities failed to make the cut.

Tonight I got a lot of gems from Desire. His english is getting better and Dave is becoming a pro at translating. Though he does sometimes switch us up - he spoke to me in french a few times tonight and then stared at me like - well? Why aren't you responding?

The Cubs are back in town and the once quiet stadium next to his favorite place - MdDonald's - is now a hotbed of activity. Dave explained the game of baseball as we watched it on TV last night and I taught him "GO CUBS". Tonight we walked to a bar on Clark street and as we walked past the field, he noticed the score of 4 to 1 on the big marquee and said OH NO. He has only been here 2 weeks and already he's a Cubs fan. Tonight was a dose of what being a Cubs fan is really like - we sat at the german bar and watched them go from 4 to 1 to 12 to 1. Poor Desire was so upset they were losing. He claimed that it was his fault because he borrowed Dave's Cubs shirt and wore it today. Since it was his first time wearing a Cubs shirt, that must be why they're losing. See? He's a true Cubs fan: he's already come up with ridiculous superstitions to explain the Cubs poor performance.

At the bar, I showed him a picture of my cat. I told him about how I had to give Frank away and how I miss him. He said "You have Dave, a husband to satisfy you. Why do you need a cat?" That made me laugh.

He said he's noticed women here all have cats. I tried to explain that it's because they're easy to tale care of, they're allowed in most apartments and they're cute. He looked at me and shook his head. Cats do not serve man. So he doesn't know why we have them as pets. So I said "Do you have a pet?" Turns out he has a dog. I asked what its name was, he thought for a while then said "I don't remember." I learned that people don't have dogs for fun there, they own them for protection. The guard your house, all you have to do is feed it. So it's not like some family member you care about. In fact, he said his dog isn't neutered, he hadn't owned a male dog before so he didn't know if you don't neuter it, it'll run away and screw other dogs all day. That's not real helpful because then the damn dog's not watching your house. So he said he plans to get rid of it and get a new dog soon. I said "What will happen to your current dog?"

Apparently they eat dog there. Essentially, he'll be bringing over a casserole to a neighbor in the form of a dog that likes to hump girl dogs too much. Great. 

I'm not eating any meat over there unless I'm damn sure it's not dog.

Also, we talked about ghosts. It's funny how everything we can't explain as humans is explained as either A) ghosts or B) God. He claims a lot of places are haunted in Burkina and he assured us we couldn't stay in those places when we come visit. We both said "No! We want to stay in the haunted places!" He was horrified. I asked - How? How is it haunted? How do you know? He said "Have you ever seen a house that no one lives in that just bursts into flames one day?" Yes, it's called an electrical short, arson or maybe it's the YEAR ROUND 100+ DEGREE HEAT YOU HAVE THERE!!!" No, it's ghosts.

Also, his dad was on a moped, a ghost pushed him off and he blacked out for 2 hours in a remote area of Burkina. So, it wasn't that he hit a rock or a large hole and flew off his moped and hit his head and blacked out from severe head trauma, it was a ghost. He claims that whole area is haunted.

You know, I am so glad I didn't pay much for my wedding dress. But even at $200, I still feel like it's a shame that thing is just going to be on a hanger for the rest of my life. Seriously, think about it - do you own ANYTHING that you'd only wear once and then KEEP forever? Logic begs that I do something with it. I've looked into it and there a few options:

Sell it - however, the bottom edge is so black, the person who would buy it would need to be shorter then me so they could chop off the nastiness. There's no way it's coming clean. On a realistic note, my dress was $200. Someone could easily just buy one brand new - it's not like I have some $3,000 gown that someone would save a ton of money on by buying it used.

Clean it and box it, keep it forever - ok I'm not doing this one. There is no way my child will wear my wedding dress. Its' a real nice thought and lots of women think it'll happen but do you know anyone who wore their mom's dress? Besides, preserving a gown costs about as much as I paid for the damn thing. I'm not interested in dumping more money into this dress I will never wear again.

Donate it - I have heard this exists. But damn if I can find out where to do it, what they do with it, and also make sure the proceeds don't go to the catholic church. I found a breast cancer site that seems to accept them and wrote to them but never heard back. Hopefully they do contact me, I think this option is winning. ideally, I'd like it if I knew someone who was getting married and didn't have the money for a dress...hell I'd even pay to help her get it altered for her. That would make me the happiest. Fat chance though.

Trash the dress - this option seems fun but ... and I will admit I'm sad I didnt' get to have wedding photos taken in the city where I live BUT I got to be a photographer's subject one day and it was fun but that's about all I think I'm allowed in one lifetime since I'm not 5 foot 10 and waif thin. Plus, you gotta pay someone for that (see preserving comment above). I'm not looking to drop more cash into this thing.

Halloween costume - this seems funny till i think about wearing that thing again. It was comfortable as far a giant dresses go, but let's face it - it was heavy and hot. Plus, you just look like a weirdo that wanted to wear her wedding gown again. Little girls can dress up as brides for Halloween because at that point it's cute. When a married chick does it, it's just weird.

 Nothing - and it'll hang in a closet and get yellow and one day I'll have a garage sale and put it out there, no one will buy it and I'll donate to goodwill and wish I'd done something better with it.

My photographer is still working on the photos but she posted a few on facebook. Out of all of the ones she posted this one really got to me. This is my gramma that's been struggling with health issues all year. It meant so much that she was not only at the wedding but able to walk and was feeling ok. Oddly enough, as emotional as a wedding day is, I did not cry once the whole day but she is the person who almost made me cry. She'd look at me and start to tear up and I'd get REALLY close to losing it. She's tough lady so to see tears in her eyes means a lot. This was just a sweet moment that happened after we'd posed for a photo, I didn't even know she was taking pictures at this moment, it's amazing what a fraction of a second can show.

There's a dozen or so more photos on the photographer's facebook page if you want to view them:

Stephani Lynn Photography

Before I get back to the world of the fish out of water African
( a few things )